Monitoring the Heart

On February 2nd, Punxsutawney Phil promised an early spring, and we here at the Stress Pool were hopeful that he would be proven right - and by golly, we have been enjoying an early spring! Of course, on February 2nd, the hearts of those who live here were grieving, as BFFB left this earthly plane for the afterlife just several days before. To say it has been difficult would be an understatement, as she left behind a son, a brother, and a lot of friends who loved her dearly, as well as two cats, and a house with a lot of stuff that needed to be gone through. Fortunately, there were a lot of us who were willing and able to pitch in. Without anyone asking him, DH has been going to the house every week to put out trash that others have put together, then goes back the next day to pull the cans into the garage. He and others would go several times a week to help take care of the kitties, until about a week ago, when a loving soul took them into her care. 

BFFB, also known as Barb Riley, was my personal cheerleader. At the end of the week she would send a text congratulating me on making it through another week. While that sounds ridiculous, sometimes you just need someone in your corner, rooting for you, patting you on the back, making you feel like you matter. I miss that. I miss her.

It's been an interesting birthday week for me. We had the whole crew to the house on Sunday for a birthday celebration. Normally, I wouldn't have asked for that, but losing Barb kind of put life into perspective. You never know when your time will come, and celebrating life with the people you love means more to me now than ever. My heart was full that day, and still is - I loved seeing three generations of family all together in one place.

Morticia made a comment about wishing she had a camera to use when hiking with the baby, so I dug out my first digital camera for her. In checking an old SD card, I found pictures from when Moink made his first Communion, Big Brother's high school graduation, and a vacation to Virginia with Mima, Barb, and the rest of the gang. There were pictures of all five kids - one was exceptionally nice, that I would like to print. It did my heart a lot of good to look through and see more memories - a Stanley Cup trip to Detroit with Barb; one with her, her father Jack, and her brother Tom while we watched the final game of that series at their house. The Pens won that year. 

As far as the heart goes, I was "thrilled" to get a heart monitor this morning! What a way to celebrate another year on earth, right? For 3 days, or more specifically, 72 hours, it will be a part of me, monitoring the beats of my heart. I'm supposed to push a button if my heart speeds up, or I'm out of breath, things like that. (CT scans of my head and neck come at the end of the month. So much to look forward to!)

However, while the beat (of my heart) goes on, and the monitor will record them, I'm certain it won't record the love I feel for family and good friends, or the pain of loss. We tend to protect our hearts, yet it is in leaving the heart open we live life to the fullest. The monitor isn't going to record that, but my mind will. 

Stop by the Stress Pool any time, where we can share and make memories. After all, that's what life is all about, right?