The Great Purge

 The GREAT PURGE has begun.

Although, if you look at the progress I made yesterday, you might not agree. After eight hours and two filled trash bags (tall kitchen size - don't be too impressed!), I can just about see the top of my desk and one corner of the office.

The office. It is directly off the garage, where we walk through with groceries to the laundry room, before going up to the kitchen. It has been a bedroom three times: once for the boys, once for Mima, and lastly for Morticia; a den; a catch-all room, and now, it is officially known as the office. It holds my desk, desktop computer, two chairs and a small table I found at a consignment shop, a book shelf, end table, and a lamp. There is a lovely window and a lot of plants that usually go to school with me, but with this year's schedule and uncertainties, are staying home permanently. When we came home from school last March for full on-line learning, it turned into my home-away-from-home. When school ended in June, I turned off the computer and walked away. Everything sat as it was until I packed things up for the new school year. Well, some things, and not nearly enough!

We decided months ago that this coming spring would be the big move - more about that another time - but the PURGE must begin. We've been in this house as a family for 34 years, and his mother many before that. We have about 50 years of things to get rid of, pack up, and make presentable. I decided that I would start with the office. It's small, and once it was pristine, it would send me off into a whirlwind of energetic cleaning mode. Right?

Educational magazines - several I can use, most I'm ready to get rid of. Twenty years of paperwork from my mother's bitter divorce papers; several more piles from her stay at Senior Prison. Months of paid bill receipts - mostly utility, and fortunately, none past-due. Mail that someone nicely sat on the desk in October that I just found yesterday. Planners from years past, photos, and saved memories. All found, and now organized in one form or another. There is still a pile of stuff (books, mostly) still waiting for my attention. That's today, along with beginning in what we used to refer to as 'the workroom'. That room will be a little easier - most of it can be tossed, and I expect to fill another bag or two by the end of the day.

If you think it's easy, it isn't. My mantra in this case: am I willing to pack and move this?

In many cases, the answer is no. I'm beginning to understand my father from when they moved years ago (another bitter page in my mother's memory as her vintage salt and pepper collection disappeared). He got rid of things that he wasn't willing to move, no matter what they might have meant to someone else.

So, in fairness, I've warned the children: anything not claimed by December 31 is leaving the house, and I don't mean to the storage unit. I think that's pretty fair! We'll be keeping Waste Management busy for some time.

But, not the Pool. No, the Stress Pool is portable, and will be going wherever we go, and is open all the time. Come on in - I'll gladly take a break to sit and chat.

I'm curious. What would you be able to get rid of in the blink of an eye?  

Until next time!

A Time for Thanks

 Greetings from the deep end of the Stress Pool!

'Remember last New Year's Eve? Were you one of those people who said "Thank heavens 2019 is behind us! 2020 has GOT to be better!" Well, we are nearing the end of 2020 - the year to remember to try to forget. DH said the last year he said the new year had to be better was when we rang in 2008 - and two months later Eggbert died. He decided never to tempt the fates again. I usually look for the brighter side of the penny, and tend not to say it, either. There's always some shining moment to remember in any year.

Today, Donna and I went to our local Blick art store - I order a lot of supplies online, but had never been to the store in Shadyside. I seldom drive into any part of the city - Oakland is the best I do. But, since I went to high school in that area, I felt pretty confident for where I was going...seems I've lived in the suburbs a long time! And, high school graduation was a mere...well, I'm not going there! It was a long time ago. The ride did give us a lot of time to talk.

One of the reasons we went there was because we meet once a month to discuss our artistic endeavors, and of course, many other things, too. That's what a 30+ year friendship is all about. One of the topics that came up, of course, was Covid, and the effect it has had on our outlook on life, and quite possibly the lack of motivation we sometimes have. She had some questions about how school was going, and how some of our building have had to close, and that we are continuing with a hybrid model for this semester. She's had some ups and downs with some personal issues - demands on her time with job and family; I'm often mentally exhausted after a day of work - kids in the room, kids online - planning, re-planning, and then planning some more. While the spirit is willing, the brain is too tired!

The revelation came to me later. It isn't that I don't see the seriousness of the situation - of course I do. There is still so much researchers are learning about the long lasting effects of the disease, regardless of age, and we all need to be aware and cautious. What I won't do, however, is let this disease rule my life. I learned this with grief: it is there, it never leaves, but we can still carry on.

Part of the wardrobe is now a mask. I wish others felt the same - many young people we saw in Shadyside were mask-less and in groups. I hope they don't take anything to their families over the holidays. I have a small bottle of hand sanitizer with me at all times, and usually use my own pen at a store if one is needed. (Truthfully, I always did that!) My hands are often dry at the end of the day from frequent washings. I see a handful of people, and only those people. We're having two Thanksgiving dinners this year - one with Morticia and The Doctor, and one with Big Brother, Didi, and the Little Man. Big Brother and Morticia haven't been on speaking terms for some time, but even if they made up right this second, because they seldom see each other, I would hesitate to have them all come into contact with each other for a long period of time. It's a matter of keeping each other safe. DH and I see all of them, so we're not worried. In fact, DH has less contact with people than I do, but that's how he's always been.

We still do a fair share of take-out (got to keep those businesses going!), and we cook a lot at home (but then, we always did!). And now that he's home more, DH has taken on a bit more of that role, and he's still the good cook he was when we were first married. Yay for me! 

Covid, grief, clothes fitting a little more snugly... We have a choice - get through it, or let it rule you. Not today. Except the pants thing. I'm working on that!

In this time of looking back and giving thanks, I am grateful for many things: the love of my family and close friends; being able to work and having a job to go to; for supportive parents of students while we try to figure all this out; for food and a roof over our heads, clean running water, electricity, and heat. I am also grateful that Mima did not have to live through this. Isolation in the nursing home would have surely killed her. (She also wouldn't have gotten those sausage biscuits, milk, and chips - that would have been worse!) I do still miss her every day, and am thankful for the love my mother gave me.

I hope you also see the goodness in your life, and that many blessings are still coming your way! Give thanks for each other, and for a brighter future. Stop back anytime - there is always room for you at the Stress Pool - but I may ask you to wear a mask!